Monday, August 4, 2008

It's Hard to Dance With a Utility Belt

Well, I survived the reunion. And, all in all, I'd have to say that it didn't totally suck, either. After 20 years and 3 Long Island ice teas, all the petty high school bullshit pretty much goes out the window. Thankfully, I can't say the same for my clothing: My behind stayed completely covered and out of the public domain. I resisted the urge to say on the questionnaire that I killed the President of Paraguay with a fork, but I did run around and tell anyone that listened that I invented Post-Its and was Batman. It's a wonder I wasn't more popular in high school.

Speaking of school, I took the kids shopping this weekend. My daughter can't fit into the 4-5Ts anymore, we had to venture across the aisle into the wilds of the Big Girl section. I'm not a prude, but is it really necessary to dress our girls like miniature crack whores? It's poignant and bittersweet enough to realize she's growing up (and who thought that would be a good idea? I mean, really!), but when she gravitated toward a skirt that was in reality a glorified belt, I consider it a personal triumph that I didn't immediately pick her up and run screaming toward the nearest Boys are Evil parochial school for girls. At the end of it all, what I spent was roughly equal to what it would cost to power Wrigley Field for two nights running. Which is a good thing, since they will outgrow absolutely everything in two weeks.

I have been simultaneously dreading and anxiously awaiting the time when the kids go back to school. The house will be quiet, I will be alone ... I will have to do something constructive to justify my not going back to work and what the hell was I thinking, anyway?!? Working for somebody else and sneaking in a game of computer solitaire while the boss isn't looking isn't the same as working for myself and playing Sims all day instead of earning my bread and butter (or, to be more accurate, my crackers and margarine, I'm no Donald Trump), I have to keep my own ass in gear.

And, speaking of revved up asses, today I made stitch markers! And they are lovely. This claim will have to be taken on faith, until such time as I get the time and will to present them to you, in glorious and Etsy-worthy picture form.

I'm also drooling over the prospect of my new sewing machine (will be hopefully procured when the kids are off at school and I can browse and test-run some models without having to unsew small fingers which have become inexplicably attached together), as well as the possible spinning wheel ... I've been jonesing for one for a while, and now am at a point where I can possibly get one. I've been scouring the internet for some worthwhile video tutorials, and have not only found one, but have found a great one, complete with snazzy editing, music, and even unexpected farts. Go, take a look ... and when you come back, I'll be gone.

Because I'm Batman, that's why.